The Pattern of Grief
by CyberSkie
Summary: Astrid, a college student of only 19, believes there's nothing for her in life. That is, until she is revealed to who she really is, and meets the God of Mischief, Loki, and things will never be the same.
1. Wretched Normality

The Pattern of Grief

Prologue :

~ Child in the rain ~

It was a dark stormy night, clouds shrouding the land in a black haze, thunder shaking the earth. Every once in awhile, lighting would pierce the air, giving a brief moment of light to a town nestled deep in heart of Virginia. The rain was heavy and warm, and the sky seemed to almost be sobbing, never once calming down. It was like this for hours, flooding streets, the howling wind making the trees come alive and dance.

At one point, a power line gave out and snapped, making the night even gloomier as city lights diminished. A group of city electricians went out to investigate, not minding the lingering danger of the storm. An off white chevy truck with mud plastered on the outside came to a stop a few feet away from the accident, and 4 men hopped out, hoping to alleviate the situation.

One of the men, a taller, bulky man in his mid forties walked over to the left side, examining the breaking point of the pole. As he made his way over there, he stopped dead in his tracks, gasping in disbelief.

"Aaron! Come look at this!" He screamed to one of his coworkers.

All of them ended up rushing over there, all shocked at what lay not a yard away, at the edge of the woods behind them. A little girl, slumped over in the mud and grass, hair as white as snow. She made soft noises, almost like a smothered cry, shaking, soaked to the bone. All the men rushed over to her, one of them picking up his phone and dialing 911.

She was young, no older than 5, and how she managed to be in a storm like this without getting herself hurt or killed was amazing. One of the men took off his coat and wrapped it around, attempting to ask her what her name was, but to no luck. She just sat there whimpering, bright blue eyes full of fear. Soon the police came, and swept her up, whisking her away to much needed shelter.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I tapped my pencil on the edge of my desk impatiently, my other hand tucked underneath my jaw in an attempt to seem interested in the topic at hand. My brows were furrowed in frustration, lips pursed.

We were six months in to my first year of college, and I expected to be more excited to be finally getting my life into shape. But that couldn't be farther from the truth, at least in this moment. We were learning about the fundamentals of psychology, and I was so bored that I could fall asleep just like that. But I wouldn't let myself, knowing full well how hard it took me to get here. Plus the tuition was coming out of my bank account, and I couldn't afford to flunk a semester.

"Astrid," my professor, a mousy old woman with an apparent hatred for millennials, called out. "Can you give some _insight_ on this discussion?"

Discussion? What were we talking about again?

"Ehem.." she cleared her throat, expecting and answer.

I straightened up, glancing down to look at my notes, which I then realized I hadn't taken any. Shit.

"I, ugh," I could see the eyes of the entire class look over at me, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "Im not.." I trailed off, at a lost for words.

"Well, it seems someone hasn't been paying attention. I would advice you to start now, with mid terms coming up. Lord knows you'll need all them help you could get.." she rolled her eyes, turning back to the black board behind her. I could hear the giggles of some on my classmates, and I shrunk back into my seat.

"Nice going.." I familiar voice whispered to me, and I looked to my left to see my best friend Janae gawking at me, clearly amused by the situation. I was not. I scoffed at her, turning my attention back to the professor, gathering whatever information I could for the rest of the period.

The end of class came, and I sulked out of the room, thankful it was the last one of the day. And, it was Friday. Most students would be going to parties, but I wanted no more than to go to the solitude of my apartment and hide in my bed.

I strolled down the halls, not paying mind to anyone, and as soon and I made it outside campus, I heard Janae calling after me. I stopped, looking in the direction of her voice. She hurried up to me, smiling, and snaked her arm into mine.

"Hey there. Any plans tonight?" She squeaked, her dark brown hair falling in her face as she walked besides me to my car.

"Not tonight," usually I didn't mind doing whatever she had planned, whether it be a party, the movies, or a simple night in with ice cream and was my roommate after all. But tonight, I was just too worn out to do anything. "I'm just going home."

"Aw, bummer. I could cancel my plans with Carly if you want. Hang out with you instead." Carly was her friend she met here. I was always jealous of her. I'd known Janae since we were mere children, yet Carly seemed to have more of a importance to Janae than I did.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to." I lied, pulling my keys out of my pocket and unlocking my car. I had a Nissan Pathfinder. As old as it was, older than me even, it was reliable, and sturdy. I loved this car like it was my child.

"Are you _surreeeee_?" She raised an eyebrow at me, almost seeing through my lie. I secretly wanted her to stay home with me, wanting someone to vent to about all the misfortunes of my life. But, I felt like it would be a burden to her, so I usually kept my troubles to myself.

I sighed, pulling myself into my car as she did the same on the passenger side.

"No.." I gave in, and immediately she peeked up, feeling a sense of pride.

"Good. So what's wrong? I can see it on your face when you're upset. Looks like you're constipated."

I take a deep breath, driving away from the Hell called college. A felt a rage from deep in my gut, and I was about to let her have it.

"What are we all doing? I'm going to classes 4 days a week to learn shit I don't care about, to get a job I don't really want, to earn money I don't really need, to live in a society I don't really like. I don't want to do anything. I want to sit and be left alone in a dark, empty room that matches what I see every time I close my fucking eyes. I don't want anything and I don't love anything and I'm sick of playing this fucking game because it never fucking ends until you're buried 6 feet under ground."

She sat in silence for several minutes, and I could feel her heavy gaze on me, before she finally spoke. "That's deep. Why haven't you ever talked about this stuff before?"

"Because it doesn't change anything. I'm living a life worth nothing. I feel like I'm worth so much more, and I could do so much.. **_MORE_**." I could tell I sounded ridiculous. But I didn't care. I was so mad that my foot was heavier on the gas, and I knew I was going at least 10 miles over the speed limit.

She sighed, and placed a hand on my thigh, and I flinched, immediately slowing down.

"Astrid, I love you. You're beautiful, and charming, and sarcastically funny. You're strong, and you're perseverance is amazing. You've gone through so much, been hurt too much, and I feel like you're giving in to it all. You're in pain, I can see that clearly, every single day. But, you're my best friend. Always have and always will be. And I'll forever be here for you. But you need to slow down. It's not as bad as it seems."

She was right. My life is a mess. A beautiful disaster. My mother and father cast me out when I was no more than a toddler, and I lived a life of torture in the foster care system, where anyone ever cares about is either getting rid of you or only wanting you for the money deposited in their bank account each month from the state. I was beautiful, yes. But with beauty comes pain, and there's beauty in everything. At least it seemed like that with me. I should have killed myself a long time ago, but I was always too much of a coward.

"I know. Maybe there's some truth to what you're saying. But I still can't shake the feeling I'm lost, like I'm not meant to be here doing what I'm doing."

She smiled at me, and I could see pity in her eyes.

If only I knew what was to come. How much my life was about to change. And maybe I wouldn't be so solemn.


	2. Stranger in the Night

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" Laura looked at me compassionately.

After venting to her, I decided it wasn't fair for her to basically sit around as I moped all night. We were college students. There's much more fun to be had for her.

"I'll be fine, I promise." I lied to her once more. I realized on the car ride home there was a lot more to my problems than I'd allow myself to acknowledge.

"Well, if you need anything, call me. I'll be right down the street." She placed her hands behind her back, and I nodded to her as she walked down the busy city street.

I stood in front of the doors to my apartment lobby, letting out an exasperated sigh as I looked to the sky. Clouds had started forming , a blanket of dark grey casting its judging gaze on everything below. A storm was coming, I knew. I slowly plopped down on the steps leading up to my building, resting my arms on my knees. It was beautiful, truly.

Suddenly lightning shreds though the sky like a spear thrown by a furious deity, piercing the sludge and shattering the earth underneath, propelling mud like shrapnel, obliterating anything in its path. Bang! Again and again the lightning struck, shredding through trees like paper, tearing apart the landscape as if in a crazed, blind irrational rage.

Ruthlessly rain starts to relentlessly plummet from the heavens like kamikaze bombers splattering against the world, soaking the soil, forging streams and rivers through the sludge like a tear stained face. Like spirits the howling possessed the trees making them wave and dance, occasionally breaking branches and tossed them to the ground to be flooded by the ever rising rain.

The more brutal the storm the calmer my heart was. It was like Mother Nature had the same suppressed rage like I did, and decided that everyone should know.

I finally decided it was best I head inside before it got to hectic, and I made my way to the elevator and up to my room on the 5th floor. I unlocked my door, and strutted inside, relieved to be home at last. Plopping my keys on the kitchen counter, I made myself a sandwich and and sweet tea, and sat down on the black microfiber couch. I spent most of my time in this very spot, whether it be studying, writing, or watching tv.

I placed my food on the cushion next to me, and pulled out my laptop; my favorite tv show, The Night Manager, was beckoning for my attention.

About an hour had passed, and the sun had now set, giving the storm outside an eerie darkness for a companion. I hadn't paid much mind to the chaos outside, but once the power went out, I was instantly snapped out of my reverie. It was pitch black in my apartment, and I closed my laptop and put it to the side, accidentally knocking over my glass of tea.

"Shit!" I called out, and I sat up, fumbling around for my cell phone. I found it, and immediately dialed Janae, wanting to make sure she was okay.

"Hello? Astrid?" Her voice was shaky, for she had a fear of the dark which I'm sure she was surrounded by as well.

"Janae, hey.. are you alright?"

"Yeah, um," she paused and I could hear her talking to someone on her line. "We're fine. Carly is with me as well. How about you? Some storm huh?"

I chucked, and leaned back on the couch.

"That's for sure."

I heard a loud crash of lightning, followed by one single bang on my door.

My voice caught in my throat, and I could faintly hear Janae asking me what that noise was.

I sat up quickly, frozen, and then there was another bang, the lock on my front door breaking, and a quiet creak filled the room.

"Hold on," I whispered to my friend, and pulled the phone from my ear, turning on the flashlight. I shone the light over by the door, seeing a large bulky figure and a flash of red, silver, and blonde.

I dropped my phone, not a sound escaping my gaping mouth, to frightened to speak.

The lights soon flicked back on, and I could see the figure completely. It was a tall man, muscles rippling over his body, clad in some sort of glamorous armor, a red cape clasped to his back. He looked at me, and made his way towards me, before I took a step back.

"Don't come any further! I'm warning you!" Although it was an empty threat. I had no means of protecting myself.

"Lady Astrid! Pleased to meet your acquaintance! And am Thor, of Asgard. My apologies for the intrusion, but you're coming with me!" He exclaimed all high and mighty, and I was whisked off into the night.

"Astrid? Hello? Astrid?"


	3. Asgard

"Where are you taking me? And who are you? And how do you know my name?" I tried to yank my arm free from the strange man pulling me down the street.

"All your many questions will be answered soon, My Lady. Fret not." He answered.

"Fret not? FRET NOT? How dare you treat this so casually. You took me from my home and are now taking my to god knows where!" I screamed at him, my grey blonde hair whipping around in the wind, the raining soaking me to the bone.

He then stopped walking, and turned around to face me, his face serious. I gulped hard, my blue eyes filled with fear.

"I promise no harm will be done to you." He said calmly.

"And how am I to be so sure?" He then smiled, and ruffled my hair.

"Oh, Lady Astrid. Is there any way I can calm your fears? Perhaps there is a place here on Midgard we may speak?"

I blinked a few times, dumbfounded.

"Midgard? What's Midgard?"

"Midgard is the name of this realm you live in. There are nine. I myself, reside in Asgard."

"Nine realms? You sound crazy," I bit my lip, pulling us under the cover of a nereby building, the rain not ceasing. "But, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt to explain. There's a coffee shop not too far from here. We can talk there."

He then smiled his ever illustrious smile, nodding. "Very good! Let us go then."

"Don't make me regret this, Thor.." I said sarcastically, leading him to the coffee shop.

"So, you're telling me, I'm of Asgardian blood? I'm one of … you?" My voice was shaky with skepticism.

"Yes! And you to are return at once. My father insists." He gulps down the coffee I ordered for him, then throwing the mug on the ground. "Another!"

I stare in disbelief as the mug shatters on the ground, everyone looking at us with judging eyes. I look to the barista behind the counter, who's astonished face doesn't leave much room to wonder what he's thinking.

"I am so sorry! I'll pay for that, don't worry!" I shift my gaze to Thor, glaring at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed, highly embarrassed.

"I merely stated that I should need another one of those concoctions immediately. That is all." He shrugs his broad shoulders, confused.

"What, did you grow up in a barn?" I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"A barn? God no, I grew up in a palace!" He explained all High and mighty.

"It was an expression," he looks at me still confused. "Nevermind.." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, miss Astrid, we mustn't spend another second here. My father will be cross if we stay any longer than we have." He sat up abruptly, knocking his chair back, and strides out the door.

I gasp, stating my apologies to everyone once more, and ran after him.

"Wait! You didn't answer all my questions yet!" I huffed, trying to catch up to him.

"We haven't the time. Come," he reached his hand out to me.

"I-I'm supposed to just drop everything and leave to some mystical land that I don't have a clue actually exists?" I hesitate, and he steps towards me pulling my to his chest, his large arm draped around my waist.

"You will soon. Mjolnir!" He beckons loudly, making me jump. I watch in amazement as a large hammer falls from the sky into his hand. Everyone around us freezes, and watched us in shock.

"What is-" I was cut off by the sound of Thor screaming again, a name I can't make out.

What now? Is a giant dragon gonna appear out of nowhere?

The ground starts to shake and feel my heart pound in my chest like a drum. Suddenly, the sky opens up, and a bright light shoots down on us, and I grab Thor tightly, scared for my life.

We were enveloped in the light, a warm feeling coating my skin, and immediately my breath leaves my lungs as we're sucked up into the twister, making my body go limp with the impact. I faintly feel Thor's grip on my frail body get tighter, and just as soon as it started, it stopped. My feet were touching the ground beneath us, my breath returning to me.

I heaved slowly, placing my hand on my head, hoping the painful throbbing would go away. I peeled my eyes open, seeing white and black fuzziness for a few seconds. Thor rubbed the small of my back, seeing my uneasiness.

"Where did you take me.." I mumbled, my sight finally coming too. My eyes widened, and all I heard Thor say was unassimilated mumbling, for I wasn't paying any mind to him. I was too busy taking in the scene in front of me.

It was beautiful. When Thor told me he lived in a palace, he wasn't mistaken. I was standing on a bridge, a gleaming rainbow of colors, leading to a kingdom nestled in the heart of towering mountains. Calling it a kingdom to me was an understatement. The bustling town surrounding the palace was full of life. The palace looked like it was pulled straight out of fiction novel, the walls tall, and golden in color, and suddenly I felt out of place. I felt small. Like how could the likes of me be from a place as wonderful as this?

I was pulled from my thoughts by a deep voice, and I turned around, greeted by a large man with dark skin and molten eyes. He was clad in golden armor, holding a a huge sword that was buried inside of some kind of contraption, a large dome incasing us.

"Welcome to Asgard, maiden." He boomed, and I let out a faint sigh of disbelief.

"Thank you, um,"

"Heimdall. Gatekeeper of Asgard."

I smiled shyly, and nodded back to him, before turning to Thor who was standing next to me. He was smitten to say the least.

"Seems you're not insane after all!" I exclaimed, playfully teasing. He shook his head, laughing.

"I told you, dear Astrid. Now, come, I'm sure my father will want to see us at once." He turned to start walking down the colorful bridge.

"Your father?" I skipped up next to him, trying to keep up with him and his long strides.

"Yes. King of Asgard. Protector of the nine realms. And once we are in his presence, try to keep a still mind and a calm heart. As demeaning as he is, no harm will come to you, I promise."

I gawked at him, confused.

"Why would say something to morbid? I thought you said he wanted me here?"

"On the contrary," he sighed, his face serious. "He will be furious to see you. He did not want you here. So, prepare yourself."


End file.
